Confession Time

I really didn't think I was a beer snob, but lately people are hiding Bud Light behind their backs when I walk into the room holding a pint of craft beer. My friends will text me things like "I was drinking Hamm's last night and thought to myself Kellie wouldn't approve." I don't know what I did to earn the title of a beer snob, but I don't deserve it. Keep reading, it'll all make sense soon.

Sometimes having a beer blog can get tricky. On the one hand, I love to support small, local and creative microbreweries. On the other hand, I love to drink cheap domestic beer directly from the pitcher at a dark and dirty bar. It's a classic case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. There are weekends that I want my beer to be just an inebriate--nothing more. I'm risking pissing off real beer snobs with this confession, but I'm a senior in college and I'm going to act like it damnit.

Good thing I wasn't driving, it's a smidge over the limit.

If we're on the topic of confessing my sins in the realm of craft beer, here are the events of my weekend bender:

Day 1:
-Drink Bud Light at a birthday gathering because it only costs $4 for a pitcher. Still have enough cash to buy the birthday girl a shot.

Next day:
-Attend a True American drinking game (look it up if you don't understand the reference). Chug a wide variety of domestic beers and jump around on furniture.
-Then go to aformentioned "dark and dirty bar." Buy a $3 dollar pitcher of PBR. Ask the bartender for too few glasses, which means I get drink directly from the pitcher. Still have enough money to get Yesterdog (look it up and come to GR to eat it).

Next day:
-Be hungover. Drink a PBR in the shower. Leave the empty can on the shelf for your roommates to find.
-Shotgun a PBR in the living room not spilling one drop. Shout "Are you not entertained?!" immediately after.
-Go to a less dirty bar. Drink Rolling Rock from a mason jar. Compete for the highest score using a breathalyzer. Lose. Still have enough money for Yesterdog.

Next Day:
-Make a fake promise to never drink again. Listen to your roommates laugh at your lie.
-Eat brunch.
-Nap.

If you did the math correctly, I drank zero ounces of craft beer and roughly a bazillion piss-flavored calories. But did I make memories? You bet.

I will never fall out of love with craft beer, but there is a time and a place for everything. I like to savor my good stuff, not puncture the can on the bottom and finish it in 7 seconds. I explain drinking cheap domestic as buying generic products--they get the job done, but people will think you're poor, and usually they're right. C'est la vie.

How to Drink Good Beer and Still Pay Your Rent

The Greater Grand Rapids Area has a special way of making me fall in love over and over again with craft beer. But at times I have to decide between buying groceries for the week and a night out at a microbrewery trying new brew. Good thing Grand Rapids has ways of letting us drink great beer for a good price. 

First, I bought a four-person beer flight Groupon from New Holland Brewing for $18. When you divide the total cost between my three roommates and myself it means I get to try multiple beers on the cheap. Seriously though, go sign up for a Groupon account. People might laugh at you at first, but then they'll be jealous as they watch you save some serious cash. I always see discounts at microbreweries and on anything else you think you want but probably don't need. That's just how Groupon works.

Also today, my aforementioned roommate brought me the latest issue of Revue Magazine—which is the  free West Michigan Entertainment Guide. This month the issue is all about Michigan beer, baby. We're kind of a big deal. People know us.

I realize that I talk about Michigan beer constantly. But I can't help but get excited about Michigan's rise to fame in the world of craft beer. Even though I did absolutely nothing to get GR on the map, I have the tendency to talk to people from my hometown like I was some sort of Sacajawea figure in The Grand Rapids Journey to Beer Stardom. Truth is, I wasn't even 21 when Grand Rapids was honored with the title last year. Now that I'm of age, I can see how much the Michigan beer industry deserves to be called "The Great Beer State."  

The unending stream of hard work and great product from Michigan Brewers is why the October Revue decided to devote an entire issue to our beer. The contributors of this issue covered all of their bases. One of the reasons I mention it on today's blog is because it has coupons, promotions and upcoming events all throughout West Michigan—not just in Grand Rapids. But it's also jam packed with places to buy beer and beer making supplies. Plus, there are articles on the history of old and new microbreweries from across this side of the state. Most importantly, I found out that Bell's Brewery sells hooded onesies with side pockets to hold not one, but two beers. Groupon better have a promotion on these soon, because I need one in every color.

I kid you not, it has a butt-flap.

Now you have just two things left to do:

1. Get a Groupon. Even if it's only to day drink with your friends for a discounted price—it'll be worth it. Right now there's an offer for 63% off of a sampler at The Hideout Brewery, you know you want to go.

2. Regardless of where you live, if you like craft beer you have to read about Michigan beer in the Revue. But if you live around here, feel free to take advantage of the promotions. And if you can't find the Revue nearby, or live outside of its distribution, don't fret. You can read it as many times as you'd like online, right here:  http://revuewm.com/current-issue

As an English major I've already come to terms with my future of financial instability. Groupon and special beer promotions are the only way to drink for less while still being able to pay my rent. Without the options of saving money on beer, I would most likely be living in a van down by the river by now. Thanks Groupon!

It's Impossible to Turn Down Half Off Pints.

I know that I wrote about Founders last week when they reopened for ArtPrize. But that was all from word of mouth. Tonight, I actually checked out the expansion for myself, and it was impressive. I’m talking two open fire-pits impressive, and a whole lotta extra seating.

You may think that Founders is paying me for all of the publicity on my blog. But they are not— yet (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). I would be happy one day to try their beer and get paid for my inebriated ramblings about it, but that day is not today. But, I can still appreciate $2.50 pints on Mondays; it’s almost as good as free beer.

Tonight, my roommates wanted to celebrate a hard day of classes. I had a rough weekend of watching “The I.T. Crowd” on Netflix and drinking. Then today, I had one 75 minute class, so yeah; I was ready to cut loose for a night, keep your judgments to yourself. Plus, I have a few papers that I still have to write for tomorrow and drinking is one of the most effective means of procrastinating. What have I said before about “writing drunk and editing sober?” That it’s genius, and guarantees success.***

We found a DD for the night (god bless her) and headed down to the new and improved Founders Brewing Co. It’s beautiful. The porch now stretches almost to the road, with brick tiles, high top tables and two glorious fire pits. The ceiling is equipped with massive heaters that would scare the shit out of even the largest birds. Now the outdoor porch has its own bar, complete with an attentive bar staff, tall chairs and beer—duh.

The all-season eating/dining area has blossomed as well. The inside used to seem cramped, as though unless you arrived at an off time you couldn't find a table. Now the seating stretches past the kitchen and into a whole new alcove. Founders has managed to keep the cozy microbrew vibe all the while expanding to fit the booming industry. I know that Founders rushed to complete the project in time for ArtPrize, but they did a phenomenal job.

That's me, with the Inspired Artist Black IPA. I am absolutely feeling the 7.5%.

Speaking of ArtPrize, I finally drank the Inspired Artist Black IPA in the most delicious form: draft. I’m warming up to IPAs, and this one was gooooood. It wasn’t too bitter—as I always fear IPAs will be—but had a strong citrus flavor that mixed well with a hint of smoky pine. It was a 7.5% ABV, but it disguised the alcohol content a little too well for a Monday night (again, this is not a place to judge me). I ended up getting a Centennial IPA too. The Centennial IPA was  hop-heavy with more citrus and honey flavors than I was expecting. As my second beer of the night the flavors had the dangerous ability to hide the high alcohol content, which was a smooth and unassuming 7.2%. Although it was a Monday night and I have a long list of things to do this week, it was so worth it. Beer is always worth it.






***This is also a very good way to flunk out of college if you’re not an English major. Even if you are an English major, please don’t follow this advice.